Subject: Fw: If dogs wrote letters to God
Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
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Dear God, When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
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Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, > the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but > not ONE named for a dog? > How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs > love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler > Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'!?
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Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
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Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
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Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
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Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
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Dear God, Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my rear across the carpet.
15. The cat is not a squeaky toy; So when I play with > him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
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Dear God, May I please have my testicles back?
Dennis
