HORRIBLE JOB NEWS TODAY!! big trouble

[rainstorm]

Al-Qaeda Payrolls Lag Expected Growth Numbers

July 2, 2004


Listen to Rush…
(…read the latest jihadist employment news)

As you know the unemployment news came out today. And the experts, the media, expected 250,000 jobs created. There were only 120,000. The unemployment rate stayed the same at 5.6%. So, the economy is growing. It is unstoppable right now.

But there's a companion story that you haven't heard about, ladies and gentlemen. This is from the Al-Sahib Skyhook News Service in the Middle East. The headline: Al-Qaeda Payrolls Lag Expected Growth Numbers. Now, here's the story:

Al-Qaeda added 112 jihadists to payrolls in June, less than half the media experts forecast. Bombing jobs fell for the first time in five months, suggesting to analysts that Al-Qaeda is losing population. The fanaticism rate held steady. It's 5.6% for a third month, according to the death department, reported in the Iron Triangle according to the Al-Sahib Skyhook Network. The creation of 13,000 dead jihadists so far this year in the war on terror, which is the biggest six-month gain, or loss, depending on your perspective, in a full year, seems to bolster President Bush's job approval rating ahead of the November election.

"We are truly screwed, and I'm not just jawboning the death market," said Abu Mussab al-Zarqawi, who manages to live with a $25 million bounty on his head. "The feds can grease or capture me at any time. Saddam was wearing one sharp suit yesterday," was his quote. American media outlets had expected the casualty level for the U.S. to be much higher and the body count of jihadists to be much lower, but it was just the exact opposite.

In terms of job creation, Ahmed Sulamon, the chief economist at the bank of Tehran said, "Things have cooled off a bit. We're not growing gangbusters here, but at the same time we are still in a pretty healthy and expanding terror economy. We really need Kerry to come alive in Boston or we are all dead. "

[Derek Ortt]

Kiss the terrorist scum, good bye. Lets reduce their payroll to a ncie round number, 0

[Brent]

Kiss the terrorist scum, good bye. Lets reduce their payroll to a ncie round number, 0

Sounds good to me.

[TexasStooge]

Kiss the terrorist scum, good bye. Lets reduce their payroll to a ncie round number, 0

Sounds good to me.

I agree.

[mf_dolphin]

I'm sure President Bush will be happy for that unemployment number to go real high!

[stormie_skies]

Ummm....you guys do know that report is a joke, right? And even if that news agency existed (which it doesnt) and that kind of information was obtainable (which it isnt), I would have to seriously question it. In the past year, we have seen the highest number of terrorist attacks in two decades, and that doesnt include the attacks in Iraq. Now either we have a handful of seriously overachieving terrorists left, or someone is having some success in the recruitment department....

[coriolis]

The terrorist profession definitely has a high attrition rate. I'll bet they don't need a retirement plan.

[Kiko]

Who says what you hear on talk shows is a joke?

Iraqi Talk Radio

"Hello and welcome to Car-Bomb Talk, we're Boom and Blamm, the Blaster Brothers. You're on the air!"

"Hello, this is Ali, I'm calling from Tikrit, and I've got an '85 Toyota with 285,000 miles on it that I'm trying to fix up. I've got all the dynamite installed in the trunk, and the wiring and detonators are all hooked up but no matter what I do I can't seem to get it to work."

"Okay, Ali, let's see if we can walk you through this. First of all, is it an automatic or stick shift?"

"Stick."

"And what color is it?"

"Sort of reddish-brownish, but the driver's door is gray and the trunk is blue..."

"Okay. Well, now, let's see....have you tried..."

KABLOOM!!!!

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.

"Uhhh...never mind..."

[rainstorm]

lol!!

[Kiko]

Don't encourage me, hon.




Looks like the guy on the right is starting to have his doubts, with the one in the middle being a little too eager? The student up front seems to be taking it very seriously...

Gimmee a political cartoonist over a gasbag anyday.