"In South Carolina, Senator John Edwards won handily, fulfilling his promise to win every state he was born in." —Jon Stewart
"As soon as Edwards was announced the Republicans put out a new attack ad calling him unaccomplished. He was born poor and became a multi-millionaire. To Republicans isn't that the definition of accomplished?" —Jay Leno
"John Kerry said I can't tell you how proud I am to have John Edwards on my team, especially after John McCain turned me down." —Jay Leno
"John Kerry announced that his running mate would be North Carolina senator John Edwards. It's already getting nasty. After Kerry selected Edwards the Republicans immediately denounced Edwards as disingenuous. When he heard this President Bush said I didn't know this guy was a foreigner." —Conan O'Brien
"This Edwards guy, he's going to be trouble for the Bush-Cheney ticket. He's charismatic, and that's going to hurt Cheney. And he can speak, and that's going to hurt Bush." —Jay Leno
"It was reported that John Kerry and John Edwards together are worth over half a billion dollars. In fact, they are both worth so much, they've decided to vote for the Republicans." —Conan O'Brien
And my personal favorite...
"Because of the tough presidential primary last year, there was talk that there might be a personality conflict between Kerry and Edwards. Thankfully, Kerry doesn't have a personality, so that won't be a problem." —Jay Leno
