Saw the Pyschologist... AND she says...

[yoda]

I saw the pyschologist today and trust me, it was NOT FUN! She was sweet and talked quietly, but she made me talk about EVERYTHING ranging from when I started thinking of suicide, to how many times I have attempted it (I told her the truth, which is 5 times... yes I am a very bad tormented child) which she gasped at, how was life when I was in depression or feeling bad, etc. Only problem was, she didn't help very much. She basically repeated what I already knew. She told me that I technically had depression, but since depression is classified as "being down for a long period of time," she said I didn't have it. She did state that I had depression only when I was down or sad. She also said I was a weird case because I could go from being hyper and extremely happy to wanting to commit suicide in a day. So, she said I had VERY HUGE mood swings. She notes at least I am still alive, after attempting suicide 5 times, which she says is good. I told her of my friends here and the ones I have from school and she applauded me for at least talking to you guys. Therefore I must thank you guys! However, we did get in a bit of an argument when she askes how long I had been suicidal. I told her 4 months, but she didn't believe me. She pressed further and I gave in, telling her I had been suicidal for over a year. She wondered why I had taken so long to come to her or another pysch and I yelled at her. Wasn't pretty,...

I may see her again soon... but for right now, since she made me spill everything, I am a bit of an emotional mess. I will try to be careful of my thoughts and emotions. BUT, I may still think of committing suicide. Oh dear, what a fun time this was...

To all, while I will NOT commit suicide anytime soon, I may BECOME suicidal. What my psych says to do, if I do become suicidal or have a bad bout of depression, is to talk it out. So, I will continue posting here, as long as talk to my friends from school. I will try to not become suicidal, but only God knows when I will.

Thanks to all you who were worried and were prayin' for me....

Matt (The "Weird Case")

[wx247]

Matthew... you are not weird. (((HUGS)))

If you need anything, let us know.

[Wnghs2007]

Matthew,

You are a great friend and know again, that we are here for ya buddy. Stay safe, and hopefully you can stop from going towards being suicidal. Just keep in touch. And Go have some fun. Go to a theme park and enjoy yourself.

[CaluWxBill]

Take care Yoda. honestly, I hope you spilled everything out to her, that is sort of her job. She may actually go over your case and tell you something a few days from now. Don't try anything, you must triumph from this hard time in your life, you will be rewarded for it, never stop living bud.

[yoda]

Thanks guys. I wil definetly keep in touch.

[Skywatch_NC]

I consider you a good friend and Wxbuddy, Matt, and the prayers and thoughts will continue flowing for you, Bro. ((((HUGS))))

That was fun that time when we foot-raced each other in a PM here and enjoyed some Gatorade! Hope to enjoy talking w/ you about wx and playing games alot more in the future, too.

You're a great guy and the Lord loves you, too.

God Bless You,

Eric

[george_r_1961]

Matt im not an expert by any means but did anyone mention the terms "manic depression" or "bipolar"? Its common and its treatable..if indeed thats what you have. But you will need to see a psychiatrist..a medical doctor..to get diagnosed and get meds. Good luck

[yoda]

I'll see ya guys tomorrow.. I hope.

[abajan]

Matt, many times getting involved in a project that requires a lot of physical activity helps to relax your mind and helps you organize your thoughts and generally gives you an overall feeling of wellbeing.

Are there any projects around your house that you've been putting off like painting a fence or whatever?

Whatever you choose, make sure that it is something that you would enjoy. Then all you need to do is to get started and put your heart in it. Just bear in mind that you really need to break a sweat for this kind of therapy to be effective. The idea here is to be dog tired at the end of each day!

We're all pulling for you, Matt.

[Stephanie]

Matt im not an expert by any means but did anyone mention the terms "manic depression" or "bipolar"? Its common and its treatable..if indeed thats what you have. But you will need to see a psychiatrist..a medical doctor..to get diagnosed and get meds. Good luck

Uh, yeah, I think that should've been brought up. Did she put you on any medication? I also think that you should be seeing her at least once a week.

[HurricaneGirl]

Yoda, I have been fighting depression since my early 20's. With those freqent mood swings, you could have "Rapid Cycling" Bipolar Disorder. I was diagnosed with that about 9 years ago and my brother just got diagnosed with it this year. He is suicidal. Altough I've never attempted suicide, there were times that I hoped and prayed that I would die. Hopefully they will get you on the right meds and you'll start feeling better soon.

[CajunMama]

Yoda, to get the most out of treatment, you must go more than one time. Your psychologist and you don't know each other and one visit isn't going to solve any problems. You must also be completely open with your pschycologist so that she can correctly diagnose your problem. If you don't feel comfortable with her, seek out another psychologist until you find one you are comfortable with. And I agree with George that you should
probably need to be seeing a psychiatrist.

I sincerely hope you are feeling better and will continue to seek professional help.

[David]

Steph has been a little depressed ever since she started her new job, and she has alot of hours, and I think it's stressing her, even though she says it takes her mind off of stuff. She says depression runs in the family. She had it bad in 8th grade, and felt she needed to cut her wrists to ease the pain. She was getting the thoughts again, but shes now better, thank God.

Life has speed bumps, but like every car, you'll get over them. (Unless your going 90.. then you'll have problems, lol.)

[Stephanie]

Life has speed bumps, but like every car, you'll get over them. (Unless your going 90.. then you'll have problems, lol.)

Good saying!

Cajunmama is right - if you don't feel comfortable with her, see someone else. Just make sure you continue your therapy. I really think that you probably should be put on medication as well. Therapy helps, but when there's a chemical imbalance, there's really nothing that you can do to stop the depression from hitting you.

David - I'm glad that "Steph" was able to get the help she needed when she was in 8th grade.

The depression runs on my father's side of the family, but I didn't know and/or realize that until I started my own therapy. It wasn't really discussed. I think that I was probably depressed during childhood and especially after I moved from NY when I was 15 to NJ. I did drugs to "self medicate" myself. I DID try to commit suicide, but later when I was an adult. It really kicked in full force by the time I was 27 because there were a couple of things that were happening or had happened in my life that threw me over the edge. The point is, back then (late 1980's), there was still a stigma about mental illness, though it was starting to become more recognized as something treatable and NOTHING to be ashamed of. I received alot of support from family and friends. Just DON'T GIVE UP yoda!