No nursing home for me!

[Guest]

No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble.

I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever. You can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

T.V. broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my email to: me @ Holiday.Inn

[yoda]

Wow!!! That's nice!! Are you really going to the Holiday Inn now Mrs. Chad?

[southerngale]

Sounds like a plan...

[Skywatch_NC]

And the grandkids can stay for free!

Eric

[GalvestonDuck]

Honestly, who'd want to go to a nursing home anyway? I had to do clinicals at one in Lexington and lemme tell ya, it's not a pretty sight. Why, why, why do people go to work at nursing homes if they're not willing to care (and I place heavy emphasis on the word "care") for the patients? There a big difference between a retirement community and a nursing home. And if someone wants to work with elderly people, play cards with them, and take a tray of food to them -- fine. Go work at a retirement home. But in a nursing home, you gotta be willing to deal with certain bodily functions of the patient and assist them with daily activities (bathing, eating, bathroom stuff). It gives them a sense of dignity when someone can help them do things that they can no longer do for themselves (without acting sickened by it).

Not everyone can stand to clean up messes and wipe *stuff* off people and if they can't, they shouldn't be working in a nursing home. It's pretty simple!

Sorry, but this has always been a major pet peeve of mine. It just bugs when to see staff members acting "put out" because they have to get their lazy butts off the phone and go care for someone. If they don't like that, don't do it. I'm sure there are plenty of other people in the world who care more and would be willing to do it.

Okay, rant over.

It was a funny comparison of costs though.

[Guest]

No nursing home for me. I am checking into the Holiday Inn! ....................................
So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my email to: me @ Holiday.Inn

Who ya gonna get to change your bedpan and catheter?

[Guest]

lol, this was a joke my mom forwarded to me. Does sound like a good plan, eh? Led, I'll do it myself.
...Jennifer...