EVER WONDER... ...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
..why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
..why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: . You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one:
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Ever wonder why?
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Ever wonder why?
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southerngale
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azskyman
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Always wondered...
I've always wondered why you need a driver's license to get into a bar and order a drink...and then, once you've indulged and try to drive you are arrested for having done so....
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mf_dolphin
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Re: Always wondered...
azskyman wrote:I've always wondered why you need a driver's license to get into a bar and order a drink...and then, once you've indulged and try to drive you are arrested for having done so....
ROFLMBO!!!
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JetMaxx
Re: Ever wonder why?
Amanzi wrote:
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
I learn something new on this forum every day. For example, I didn't know Lorena Bobbit was Swedish
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Re: Ever wonder why?
Amanzi wrote:EVER WONDER...
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Because they can only predict other people's futures, not their own!
But seriously, this is very funny!
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southerngale
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Amanzi wrote:WOW I posted that on the 26 Jan.... now I see its back in circulation. Made me laugh all over again!
LOL Amanzi...
My niece was over last night and naming me some similar "Ever wonders?" and I remembered reading some on here a good while back so I did a search with the words "ever wonder" and voila!! I read her some of these with the exception of a few she's too young for and we cracked up so I decided to go ahead and reply to bump it up for all the new members to see.
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