1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. - "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. - 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. - "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. - "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . - "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. - There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. - " Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. - "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. - "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. - " Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite : my mother taught me about JUSTICE. - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Mothers! Aren't they great?! The scariest point in my life to date was when I opened my mouth to yell at my kids and heard my father's voice and words come out! :o
All those things I promised I'd never say to my kids just came out from somewhere I'll never understand 
