The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Police Raid Cockroach-Infested Apartment

ANSONIA, Conn. (AP) - They were looking for drugs, but also found bugs. Undercover agents raided an apartment early Saturday morning and found the place overrun with cockroaches.

Officers said the property was "disgusting" and "unsanitary."

They also said they discovered some marijuana, cocaine and drug-packaging materials, but the tenants weren't home. Police said someone attempted to fumigate the apartment, but apparently was unsuccessful.

"Apparently, the bugs got to the dealers before the cops did," Shelton Det. Sgt. Michael Madden said.

Police said they anticipate making arrests in connection with the raid.

[TexasStooge]

Thieves Show Taste for Pricey Wines

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - Police in a wealthy Vancouver suburb are hunting for three female thieves with an eye for expensive wine.

The women made off with a 1999 Chateau Petrus and a 1999 Chateau Montelena, worth C$1,229 ($971), from a wine store in West Vancouver, police said on Tuesday.

One of the women distracted a store clerk while the others took the wines from a display case. The suspects were described as being in their 40s.

[TexasStooge]

Many in Canadian Town Busted in Pot Raid

SEYMOUR ARM, British Columbia (AP) - This lakeside hamlet is so remote it can be reached only by boat or logging road, and so small there is only one store. But investigators say many of the 60 residents were involved in one business operation — growing marijuana.

One hundred Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers executed search warrants on 14 homes and 14 vehicles Tuesday and found several factory-sized operations within a 2 1/2-mile radius, said Police Superintendent Marianne Ryan. At least 16 people were arrested in the rustic town about 240 miles northeast of Vancouver and more arrests are likely, she said.

"We've never seen anything like this before, not where a whole community is affected this way," Ryan said.

The raid followed a two-year investigation that started with complaints from other residents, and some officers were approached on the town's dirt street by people who thanked them for the raid, officers said.

"These people are really glad this is over," Sgt. John Ward said.

Ed Doll, who has spent summers in Seymour Arm for 20 years, said the village was an ideal spot for marijuana businesses.

"This is a remote area only accessible by boat and a single logging road. It's the last place anyone would look," Doll said.

Shane Roth said he didn't want the place to be known for drug activity.

"I don't want people to think Seymour Arm and then think of that kind of culture," Roth said.

[TexasStooge]

Man uses jail account for dating service

Associated Press

EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. - In search of a date, an ex-con instead found a quick way behind bars when police said he tried to use a checking account that wasn't his -- that of the Madison County Jail.

David Wroten was charged with financial fraud for allegedly using the account to try to cover the $39.95 membership fee for an online dating service, prosecutors said.

"How dumb is it to use a law enforcement agency as your bank, so to speak? I guess if you're going to scam somebody, picking on John Q. Public is one way to go, but picking on your neighborhood Police Department is even worse," said Sheriff Robert Hertz.

Wroten, 20, allegedly got the account number from a check issued to him for money left over in a jail account when he was released in April after being held there on a theft charge.

Shortly after, Wroten allegedly registered for the dating service, which accepts wire transfers from checking accounts for the membership fee. He allegedly gave them the jail's account number.

The bank stopped the transfer and authorities began investigating.

"Thank God for the dumb ones, because this dating service apparently requires that you post a picture of yourself so prospective dates can see what you look like before they contact you," Hertz said.

[TexasStooge]

Man sits on would-be thief

Associated Press

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - Rick Fisk took crime sitting down. Or at least he sat on a would-be thief until authorities arrived.

Fisk, 52, came home Tuesday morning to find a woman standing in his foyer, police said.

Julie Dye, 34, who was holding items from the house, fled when she saw the 6-foot-2, 280-pound Fisk, police said.

Fisk ran after Dye, tackled her in the front yard and sat on her.

"When they don't want to go to jail, they are a handful," Fisk said. "I told her, 'Just relax, it's the first step to get your life together."'

Fisk's phone was out of reach so he sat on Dye and yelled for help.

After 20 minutes, a neighbor heard him yelling and called 911.

Dye was charged with second-degree burglary. She also was charged with third-degree theft for a Sept. 2 incident in which police say she stole money from someone.

She was being held Wednesday on $19,500 bail.

[TexasStooge]

Man charged with fish fraud

Associated Press

TAVARES, Fla. - It took Ronnie Lynn Robinson two years to own up to his fish tale.

Robinson admitted Monday to common-law cheating -- a rare crime -- for turning in what looked to be a thawed-out fish with a belly full of lead weights at a 2002 Lake County bass-fishing tournament.

Robinson was charged and stripped of his nearly $2,000 prize at the Harris Chain Bassmasters Big Bass Tournament after tournament director Darren Ratliff gutted the winning fish in his kitchen and found three 8-ounce weights in its stomach.

Robinson, 51, finally admitted guilt in exchange for nine months of court supervision, during which he must stay clear of fishing contests.

Robinson's lawyer, Henry G. Ferro, said Robinson is innocent but agreed to the deal "strictly as a matter of convenience."

According to a deputy's report, Robinson caught the winning 8-pound, 6-ounce fish on Sept. 28, 2002, threw it into the live well of his boat and submitted it more than six hours later.

Tournament officials didn't question the entry at the scene, but Ratliff said it looked pale and flaccid, and, unlike most freshly dead catches, stiff from rigor mortis. The fish also looked too fat for its length, and the artificial worm in its mouth didn't have the punctures usually found on used bait, he said.

Robinson's $1,915.20 prize was nearly enough to cover his $2,000 bail.

[TexasStooge]

Man charged for doing push-ups on highway

ORLEANS, Calif. (Court TV) - The police officer who arrested Damon Colegrove could not decide immediately if the Orleans, Calif., man was suicidal, but there was no doubt about his strength.

Colegrove, 38, narrowly avoided death twice on Sept. 21 while performing one-handed push-ups in the middle of a highway.

According to a Blue Lake Police Department report, an officer was driving behind a semi-tractor truck on Highway 299 at about 9:30 p.m. when the truck suddenly veered off into the next lane to avoid hitting a body in the middle of the road. The officer swerved as well to avoid the figure.

Colegrove reportedly abandoned his calisthenics and approached the officer who had parked at the edge of the road.

"I know I shouldn't have been there," he said.

The officer detected a strong odor of alcohol on Colegrove and placed him under arrest, the report said.

Colegrove told the officer that he had been hitchhiking home but no one would stop to give him a ride. He thought that doing one-handed push-ups was a good way to get some attention. He denied being suicidal but acknowledged that he felt strong.

Another officer arrived on the scene and recognized Colegrove from an earlier incident the same day. But Colegrove had given him a false name. A background check revealed that he was also on probation for various alcohol-related offenses.

Colegrove was taken to the Humboldt County Jail and booked for being drunk in public and lying to an officer. He is out on bond.

[TexasStooge]

Cheerleaders plaster woman's body with stickers

SOMEWHERE IN Florida (Court TV) - School spirit was in high demand around the Penn State University campus on Sept. 17. The football team, the Nittany Lions, was set to face a tough opponent the following day.

But a local woman apparently upset the cheerleading squad when she displayed a lack of enthusiasm for the Lions.

According to State College Police Lieutenant Diane Conrad, the cheerleaders were stationed outside a local bookstore and were giving out free stickers to passersby.

The woman, who has not been identified, was on her way into the store when they approached her. She allegedly refused the stickers and exchanged words with the group.

The woman encountered the cheerleaders again as she left the store. She made a belittling remark about the university's sports program and refused offers for the lion's paw-shaped stickers.

"But the cheerleaders decided they were going to give her some anyway," Lt. Conrad said.

The group reportedly surrounded the woman and plastered her body with several of the self-adhesive stickers. One of the cheerleaders then punched the woman in the face.

According to university spokesperson Tysen Kendig, at least six cheerleaders were involved in the altercation. All admitted to the incident, including the physical assault.

Conrad said the victim later decided against pressing charges.

The Nittany Lions defeated rival University of Central Florida 37-13.

[TexasStooge]

Police bust man for flattening car tires

DALTON, Ga. (Court TV) - Robert Holcomb was convinced that law enforcement agencies in Dalton, Ga., had him confused for a drug kingpin.

He alleged that members of the police department and the sheriff's office had marked him and his family for persecution, and that he had been constantly harassed for four years.

Holcomb decided to even the score by slowing down his nemeses.

Police say that the 38-year-old man is responsible for their seven-month plague of flat tires. They've accused Holcomb of tossing nails in the streets surrounding the police station and sheriff's office.

According to Dalton police spokesperson Officer Chris Cossen, Holcomb's vendetta is one-sided.

"None of the officers have ever heard of him and he's never been in our system," Cossen said.

At least a dozen patrol cars and vehicles belonging to officers and employees at a nearby 911 center were grounded during Holcomb's tit-for-tack assault.

Cossen said an officer was assigned to watch the streets around the police station and Sheriff's office Sept. 17. The officer observed a blue Chevrolet truck drive by the station. The driver stopped, rolled down his windows, dropped a handful of nails on the road and drove off. The officer sent out a description of the car and the driver but police were unable to locate them.

But the blue truck returned the next day as the officer was about to resume his surveillance. Holcomb was driving, Cossen said, and tossed the nails in plain view of the officer.

The officer stopped the truck and arrested Holcomb who was charged with fifteen counts of interfering with and damaging government property.

During his interview Holcomb declared that authorities had been out to get him for years. He accused two detectives of breaking into his home on two occasions and of littering his driveway with nails.

According to Officer Cossen, the two officers had never heard of Holcomb, and Holcomb had never filed any complaints about the alleged incidents.

Holcomb is out on $35,000 bond.

[TexasStooge]

Drunk Driver Steals Own Car From Police

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - A drunk driver was arrested Friday morning after he stole his own car — from the police — and ran it into a ditch, officials said.

The 53-year-old man had been pulled over for "swerving all over the road," said Bjoern Ohlin, shift commander at the Flemingsberg police station, on the outskirts of Stockholm.

Police impounded the car and took the man back to the station for an alcohol test, Ohlin said. But after the man was fined and set free — as most drunk drivers are in Sweden — he took a taxi back to where police had left his car and took it back, using his spare key.

"When a patrol car was on the way to the site to help tow the car, it blew past them in the other direction," Ohlin said.

Police were able to pull the man over — again — but as they approached the car he took off at a high speed. He then swerved off the road into a ditch, flipping the car, Ohlin said.

He was being treated Friday with minor injuries at Huddinge Hospital in outside Stockholm. Ohlin said he will face charges of drunk driving and violating police orders.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Pays Ticket With Foul Bills

BURLINGTON, Iowa (AP) - A psychiatrist who police say smeared excrement on dollar bills used to pay a parking ticket has been charged with harassment of a public official.

Ronald Preston McPike, 52, was arrested Sept. 30 at his office in Burlington.

He pleaded not guilty to the charge, a misdemeanor, and was released on $125 bond pending a Dec. 8 court appearance.

Officers received an envelope in July labeled "Foreign brown substance on bills." The envelope contained several dollar bills and a parking ticket made out to a vehicle registered to McPike, police said.

Tests indicated the brown substance was fecal matter and indicated that the stain patterns resulted from the matter being smeared on the bills.

"All personnel that dealt with the bills were offended by what the defendant did," an affidavit said.

McPike told police the money fell into a toilet and was retrieved to pay the parking ticket, police said.

If convicted, McPike could face up to 30 days in jail and a fine of up to $500.

[James]

LOL! Stealing your own car from the police?!

[Josephine96]

That;s what I said lol

[TexasStooge]

Jealous husband burns down home

PINE BLUFF, Ark. (Court TV) - When Leroy Brown suspected his wife of having an illicit affair, he burned one of her outfits in retaliation.

But the Pine Bluff, Ark., man is facing arson charges because he also burned down his mobile home in the process.

According to police documents, firefighters and police were called to the scene of a mobile home fire on Sept. 28. After the fire was extinguished, Brown, 19, told investigators that a pair of pants inexplicably caught fire in his cabinet and he put out the flames. He said the mobile home must have caught fire after he left the area.

But an eyewitness gave a different account, the report said. The witness told police the home was already engulfed in flames when Brown left. The fire department told officers the fire looked suspicious, and police launched an arson investigation.

Pine Bluff Deputy Chief Ricky Whitmore said the inquiry revealed that Brown had confronted his wife about a suspected affair and decided to burn a pair of pants she allegedly wore during a rendezvous. Brown reportedly set the pants on fire and dropped the pants when his fingers got burned. The mobile home then caught on fire.

Brown was arrested on probable cause for arson. He is being held in the Jefferson County Detention Center while prosecutors review his case.

[TexasStooge]

Man attempts to rob stores with sticks

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Court TV) - Authorities are taking Ralph Cortez's alleged robbery attempt seriously, even if his victims did not.

The 35-year-old man is accused of trying to hold up a grocery store and a beauty salon using two sticks.

According to a police report, Cortez allegedly entered the grocery store wielding two sticks and covering the lower half of his face with his shirt on Sept. 29. He then waved his sticks at the cashier and asked for money.

But the cashier and customers who witnessed the attempted stickup laughed at Cortez.

The cashier told Cortez that he had a stick of his own. He grabbed a nearby stick and waved it at Cortez, who fled the store. The cashier called police, who got a description of Cortez from the store's surveillance camera.

Police spokesperson Officer Joe Rios said when the would-be thief left the grocery store, he took his stick-wielding act to a beauty salon on the same street. He did not fare any better there.

When a salon employee told Cortez that she had no money to give him, he allegedly began hitting the cash register with the sticks. The police report said the hapless robber stopped his assault on the machine only after the woman gave him two dollars that she had on the counter.

Police arrested Cortez in a nearby alley minutes after the incident. They also recovered his weapons and the two dollars.

Cortez is being held in the Bexar County jail on $100,000 bond.

[TexasStooge]

Bank locks out serial bank robber

NEW HANOVER, N.C. (Court TV) - A serial bank robber in North Carolina was caught off-guard when he tried to rob a bank and found the doors locked.

The man, who has not been identified, is suspected of robbing at least five banks in Pender and New Hanover counties.

According to New Hanover Captain Larry Hines, the rash of robberies started in June. After detecting a pattern in the crimes, police set up undercover agents inside all area banks and around their vicinities September.

Police soon observed a particular vehicle staking out various banks on separate occasions and noted that it matched the description of a car spotted during previous bank robberies.

"We told the banks, 'If you see this vehicle come in your parking lot, lock the doors,'" Hines said.

When the man targeted the Caroline First Bank in Pender County on Sept. 27, the bank had already been warned.

The robber, who was masked and armed, approached the bank and attempted to open the doors. But he realized something was wrong and took off with his accomplice, Hines said.

The duo was arrested when they allegedly returned to New Hanover County to try their luck at another bank.

The man and his partner, a woman, are facing multiple charges of bank robbery and one charge of attempted bank robbery. They are being held at the New Hanover County jail.

[mikey mike]

I wanna go to the intergallactic shrimp and martini bar.

[TexasStooge]

This was sent to me via e-mail:

NICE TRY: Police in Beaverton, Ore., say a bank robber did good initial planning: he had a disguise, a gun, and a bag to carry off the loot. He got $188,655 -- many times the average $25,000 for takeover robberies, police say. It was the getaway that wasn't planned well. The robber demanded car keys from a bank customer. "When he took the keys he said, 'I will leave them under the front seat'," says Steven Sturtevant. "He was very polite." The gunman dashed out the door, stopped, turned around and came back in, pulling off his mask to reveal a perplexed look. "I yelled to him that it was the silver Infiniti key," Sturtevant said. That gave police the time they needed to get within range of a tracking device planted in the money. Officers traced the signal to a nearby parking lot where they found the Infiniti -- and Knute Falk, 54, who admitted to the robbery. (Portland Oregonian) ...I'm guessing the confession wasn't pre-planned either.

GREAT ESCAPES II: After being sentenced to 10-18 years in prison for a robbery in Charleston, W.Va., Robert A. Hill, 25, tried to escape from a regional jail by greasing himself up and squeezing through a small window in his cell. He got one arm and his head through before getting stuck. It took four hours for jailers to free him. He was ordered to pay for the $3,500 in damage he did to the cell. Meanwhile, an unnamed 28-year-old inmate at a prison in Coimbra, Portugal, dug an escape tunnel, but made "a mistake in his calculations," said prison spokesman Paulo Barbosa. The inmate emerged from the ground in a courtyard, still well within the prison's walls. The robber also tried to escape in 1996 but failed that time, too. (AP, AFP) ...Wait for foolproof new step-by-step instructions, coming soon in "Martha Stewart Living" magazine.

[TexasStooge]

'Here I Come to Save the Day...'

EDMOND, Oklahoma (Reuters) - An Oklahoma man desperate to save his marriage by appearing like a hero to his wife ended up in police custody on suspicion of staging a crime where he hired burglars and foiled their fake robbery attempt, police said on Friday.

Trent Spencer, 27, of Edmond, north of Oklahoma City, was charged this week with the misdemeanor crime of filing a false report, said police spokeswoman Glynda Chu.

According to police, Spencer, a high school teacher, paid two students $100 each to break into his house and try to make off with a stereo.

The masked students tied his wife with duct tape and her husband was in the house just in time to foil the supposed crime, police said.

Police said Spencer attacked the two in a choreographed fight, even hitting one with a board that he had cut to break in half. The plan was going well until his wife freed herself and called police, something Spencer did not anticipate, police said.

Police rushed to the scene and eventually tracked down the fake burglars.

"It was the most bizarre hoax we've ever had," Chu said. "It's sad because he was so desperate."

[TexasStooge]

Officer Easily Catches Stabbing Suspect

Man Uses Officer's Patrol Car As Protection From Victim

HOUSTON, Texas (Click2Houston.com) -- A stabbing suspect jumped into a police car as he attempted to run from his victim early Tuesday morning, Local 2 reported.

An officer driving on Houston Avenue at Crockett at about 1:30 a.m. said he noticed the suspect stabbing the victim on his neck and shoulder.

"The witness got involved, and the suspect and the witness fell for a second. The suspect threw the knife into a grassy, woody area (before) he ran ran and jumped into the back seat of my car to get away from the witness," Houston Police Department officer B. Outlaw told Local 2.

As the officer pulled over, the suspect ran from the victim, jumping into the back seat of the officer's car.

The officer placed the suspect under arrest. The victim was rushed to Memorial Hermann Hospital in stable condition.

Police have not said what started the altercation.