Rules of the South

Opal storm · #1 Postby **Opal storm** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 8:15 pm

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

Just because one can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can't stay home the two days of the year it snows.

If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel-drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way: This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and fishing bait in the same store.

Remember: "Y'all" is singular.

"All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

There is nothing sillier than a northerner imitating a Southern accent, unless it is a Southerner imitating a Boston accent.

People walk slower here.

Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

"He needed killin'" is a valid defense here.

If attending a funeral in the South: remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the tiniest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.

Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

Florida is not considered a Southern state (except Gainesville). There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

SOURCE:Jokes.com

SouthernWx · #2 Postby **SouthernWx** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 9:59 am

Oh yeah...all true (and yes, I say "ya'll" all the time

Once in rural east Tennessee, I stopped a guy walking down the street to ask for directions. After he spat out a wad of tobacco that would choke a horse, the man said: "well, ya go down to the stop sign....and take a "square right" :lol:

That was over twenty years ago, and to this day, I still haven't figured out the difference between a right turn and a square right :lol:

PW

Josephine96 · #3 Postby **Josephine96** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 10:17 am

I'm originally from the NE but a true Southerner.. I always use y'all and Big Ol this and Big ole that lol..

#4 Postby **tronbunny** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 12:46 pm

John..we're ruining Florida.

I'm so confused, I have many of the Massachusetts traits and have picked up most of the southern ones.
I know I'm in Florida and it sorta don't count.

But it sure is nice to pick up some of those southern traits, isn't it.
Y'all have the right idea!

Sanibel · #5 Postby **Sanibel** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 12:56 pm

Just remember there's no reason to rush down here and you know your are doing OK if you are never in any hurry.

After a few years of the heat, humidity, and sunshine the slow talk and walk will come naturally...

Ice tea on ice my friend. That is the secret...

Ixolib · #6 Postby **Ixolib** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:22 pm

Sanibel wrote:Just remember there's no reason to rush down here and you know your are doing OK if you are never in any hurry.

After a few years of the heat, humidity, and sunshine the slow talk and walk will come naturally...

Ice tea on ice my friend. That is the secret...

Would that be sweet or unsweet!!

stormie_skies · #7 Postby **stormie_skies** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:36 pm

The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

LMAO! Isnt that the truth!!! Although I think "y'all" beat "big ol'" by a few months... :oops:

breeze · #8 Postby **breeze** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 9:45 pm

SouthernWx wrote:Oh yeah...all true (and yes, I say "ya'll" all the time

Once in rural east Tennessee, I stopped a guy walking down the street to ask for directions. After he spat out a wad of tobacco that would choke a horse, the man said: "well, ya go down to the stop sign....and take a "square right"

That was over twenty years ago, and to this day, I still haven't figured out the difference between a right turn and a square right

PW

LOL, Perry - I've been in Tennessee all of my 42 years, and,
I don't know what a "square right" is! When you find out -
would 'ya please let me know? :lol:

#9 Postby **pojo** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 10:23 am

I've visited the south plenty of times... NW Louisiana and S. Ark for Habitat for Humanity... that definitely is the case. Different way of life down there...

opera ghost · #10 Postby **opera ghost** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:52 pm

I was in Atlanta with a friend from Oregon last weekend and she had been told to try the iced tea (she'd had it a few times with dinners at home but it certainly wasn't a usual drink for her) So anyway...

Her iced tea arrived and she took a sip of it... made the most alarming face and promptly spit it out in surprise. "This is SWEET Tea! With.." she looked in the glass with surprise "With peach flavoring!"

She started waving her arm around to flag down a waiter and our Atlanta friend looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "Lady you ordered Iced Tea... you got Iced Tea... what's the problem?"

She sputtered for a few moments before asking the waiter to bring her back plain unsweetened tea.

I couldn't help but giggle.

SouthernWx · #11 Postby **SouthernWx** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:35 pm

Annette - if I ever find out what a square right is, I'll let you know

opera ghost - Peach flavored iced tea? Yuck! I've lived in metro Atlanta most of my life, and never heard that one before (and hope I'm never served it in a restaurant either :eek:

Peach pie I love....but peach iced tea? :eek:

#12 Postby **tronbunny** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 8:06 pm

the only real iced tea in the south (not florida) is SWEET TEA!

Wnghs2007 · #13 Postby **Wnghs2007** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 11:15 pm

As homer simpson would say(just replace doughnuts with "Sweat Tea") "Mmmmmmmmmm Sweaaaaat Teaaaaaa"

LOL

rbaker · #14 Postby **rbaker** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 8:35 pm

some of the places down here are starting to catch on, they have both sweeten an unsweeten and ask which one you want (tea that is)

Website · #15 Postby **Brent** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:04 am

Ixolib wrote:
Sanibel wrote:Just remember there's no reason to rush down here and you know your are doing OK if you are never in any hurry.

After a few years of the heat, humidity, and sunshine the slow talk and walk will come naturally...

Ice tea on ice my friend. That is the secret...

Would that be sweet or unsweet!!

I can't stand Unsweet Tea. I like my tea very very sweet. I drink it a lot too. 8-)

Wnghs2007 · #16 Postby **Wnghs2007** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 1:41 am

Brent wrote:
Ixolib wrote:
Sanibel wrote:Just remember there's no reason to rush down here and you know your are doing OK if you are never in any hurry.

After a few years of the heat, humidity, and sunshine the slow talk and walk will come naturally...

Ice tea on ice my friend. That is the secret...

Would that be sweet or unsweet!!

I can't stand Unsweet Tea. I like my tea very very sweet. I drink it a lot too.

I second that. 8-)

iceangel · #17 Postby **iceangel** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:07 pm

You are not a true Southerner until you have had this

SouthernWx · #18 Postby **SouthernWx** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 11:04 pm

This may sound unbelievable....but I was born in the deep south, and lived here my entire life..either in metro Atlanta or Jackson, Mississippi....and I don't like grits or iced tea (blasphemy!! :eek:

Of course, I am particular to RC cola, moon pies, home grown "maters", southern pit cooked BBQ, and home made "nana" pudding...so I reckon there's hope for me yet

erautreetopflyer · #19 Postby **erautreetopflyer** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 11:11 am

git-r-done!

love being back down here

iceangel · #20 Postby **iceangel** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 3:23 pm

SouthernWx wrote:This may sound unbelievable....but I was born in the deep south, and lived here my entire life..either in metro Atlanta or Jackson, Mississippi....and I don't like grits or iced tea (blasphemy!!

Of course, I am particular to RC cola, moon pies, home grown "maters", southern pit cooked BBQ, and home made "nana" pudding...so I reckon there's hope for me yet

Yep, there is still hope for you!! I like all that too but prefer my maters fried..I also like cheese in my grits.

Rules of the South

Rules of the South

Who is online