Little Johnny strikes again

Chat about anything and everything... (well almost anything) Whether it be the front porch or the pot belly stove or news of interest or a topic of your liking, this is the place to post it.

Moderator: S2k Moderators

Message
Author
User avatar
j
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 4382
Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 1:21 pm

Little Johnny strikes again

#1 Postby j » Thu Nov 04, 2004 12:21 pm

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes." "Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.

"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be in trouble if he needed glasses."
0 likes   

User avatar
CaptinCrunch
S2K Supporter
S2K Supporter
Posts: 8731
Age: 57
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2003 4:33 pm
Location: Kennedale, TX (Tarrant Co.)

#2 Postby CaptinCrunch » Thu Nov 04, 2004 12:22 pm

:roflmao:
0 likes   

chadtm80

#3 Postby chadtm80 » Thu Nov 04, 2004 12:54 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
0 likes   

User avatar
Stephanie
S2K Supporter
S2K Supporter
Posts: 23843
Age: 63
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:53 am
Location: Glassboro, NJ

#4 Postby Stephanie » Thu Nov 04, 2004 1:05 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
0 likes   

User avatar
southerngale
Retired Staff
Retired Staff
Posts: 27418
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:27 am
Location: Southeast Texas (Beaumont area)

#5 Postby southerngale » Thu Nov 04, 2004 3:33 pm

:roflmao:
0 likes   

User avatar
Stormsfury
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 10549
Age: 53
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 6:27 pm
Location: Summerville, SC

#6 Postby Stormsfury » Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:16 pm

LOL ...
0 likes   

User avatar
vbhoutex
Storm2k Executive
Storm2k Executive
Posts: 29114
Age: 73
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2002 11:31 pm
Location: Cypress, TX
Contact:

#7 Postby vbhoutex » Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:32 pm

From the mouths of babes!!!! I could so see this happening!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
0 likes   
Skywarn, C.E.R.T.
Please click below to donate to STORM2K to help with the expenses of keeping the site going:
Image

GalvestonDuck
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 15941
Age: 57
Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2002 8:11 am
Location: Galveston, oh Galveston (And yeah, it's a barrier island. Wanna make something of it?)

#8 Postby GalvestonDuck » Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:34 pm

*snicker*
0 likes   

User avatar
j
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 4382
Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 1:21 pm

#9 Postby j » Fri Nov 05, 2004 2:01 pm

Its friday...what the heck:

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am" little Johnny replied, "but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
0 likes   

User avatar
TexasStooge
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 38127
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2003 1:22 pm
Location: Irving (Dallas County), TX
Contact:

#10 Postby TexasStooge » Fri Nov 05, 2004 2:32 pm

:lol:
0 likes   
Weather Enthusiast since 1991.
- Facebook
- Twitter

User avatar
j
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 4382
Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 1:21 pm

#11 Postby j » Fri Nov 05, 2004 2:45 pm

It was the first day of third grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn’t get past 20. Little Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well he had done.
His dad nodded and told him, "That’s because you are from Alabama, son."
The next day, in Language Class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. It’s third grade, so most could make it half way through without much trouble. Some made it to S or T, but Little Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school.
His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, "That’s because you are from Alabama, son."
The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well endowed." This confused him. That night he told his dad, "Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I’m from Alabama?" he asked.
"No, son," explained his Dad, "That’s because you’re 18."
0 likes   

SouthernWx

#12 Postby SouthernWx » Fri Nov 05, 2004 3:03 pm

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:
0 likes   

User avatar
cycloneye
Admin
Admin
Posts: 146224
Age: 69
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 10:54 am
Location: San Juan, Puerto Rico

#13 Postby cycloneye » Fri Nov 05, 2004 7:40 pm

:lol: :lol:
0 likes   
Visit the Caribbean-Central America Weather Thread where you can find at first post web cams,radars
and observations from Caribbean basin members Click Here

CentralFloridaGal

#14 Postby CentralFloridaGal » Fri Nov 05, 2004 9:57 pm

:roflmao:
0 likes   

User avatar
yoda
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 7874
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 3:51 pm
Location: Springfield VA (20 mins south of DC)
Contact:

#15 Postby yoda » Fri Nov 05, 2004 11:59 pm

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
0 likes   

Josephine96

#16 Postby Josephine96 » Sat Nov 06, 2004 10:12 am

LMAO.. oh no lol
0 likes   

User avatar
Stephanie
S2K Supporter
S2K Supporter
Posts: 23843
Age: 63
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:53 am
Location: Glassboro, NJ

#17 Postby Stephanie » Sun Nov 07, 2004 8:55 pm

Keep 'em coming j! :lol:
0 likes   

User avatar
HurricaneGirl
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 5839
Age: 60
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:45 am
Location: Clare, Michigan
Contact:

#18 Postby HurricaneGirl » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:13 am

Goodness Gracious!! :lol: Little Johnny Jokes Rock!! :roflmao:
0 likes   

pojo
Military Member
Military Member
Posts: 8016
Age: 43
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:16 pm
Location: Houston

#19 Postby pojo » Mon Nov 08, 2004 10:18 am

:hehe: :roflmao:
0 likes   

pojo
Military Member
Military Member
Posts: 8016
Age: 43
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:16 pm
Location: Houston

#20 Postby pojo » Mon Nov 08, 2004 10:20 am

"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not!" answered his mother.
"If you do," Little Johnny went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? what did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
0 likes   


Return to “Off Topic”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 31 guests