Should we just live for today?

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coriolis
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Should we just live for today?

#1 Postby coriolis » Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:40 pm

On another thread someone asked if we should find ourselves on our deathbed in a well preserved body, or should we come sliding in with a beat up body saying "What a ride!" (OK, I'm paraphrasing.)

That leads to a good question. How much should we be preparing for the future? I'm not talking about the after life. While that is the ultimate future, and we should prepare for that daily, I'm talking about our future here, for the time we have left on this earth.

On the one extreme you have the survivalists who are building shelters and fortresses, putting away provisions, and building an arsenal. People who follow this school of thought plan for the upcoming unrest and upheavals, determined to ride it through, and fight off anyone who tries to get theirs. There are risks to this approach:

First, if the events don't happen, these persons have sacrificed and deferred the enjoyment of life in preparation for these events. Second, the events could come and be worse than they are prepared for. Say you have two months of supplies, but the time of danger lasts for four months. Or the danger is of a different sort than what you are prepared for. Or you know of desperate people that you could help, but your are torn because that would reduce your supplies. These people could be friends or family. Finally, if the events are truly catastrophic, you emerge from your shelter to find nothing meaningful left!

Another similar approach is in saving money, careful investing, building wealth for "retirement." While for many this serves them into their golden years with a cushion, for others it does not. What if you lose your health, or your mind? The most careful plans can be shattered by an accident or a disaster. You can add layers of protection, but at what cost?

At the opposite extreme there are people who are living life to the fullest, without a care in the world. They are enjoying the here and now, or even devoting their lives and resources to helping others. These people may not be prepared for something as small as a power outage, but they figure that somehow they'll get by.

I'm seeing people around me getting old and dying. These people in their 80's and 90's have lived through the great depression, wars, and hard times. Some of them have a lot of regrets, some of them don't. I see them getting old and even dying, and I think, "They made it!" The world didn't end, they had their life and some of them had a great time. For others, death may be a relief - it ends a long hard life. In many cases, of course, the enjoyment, the fulfillment, or the pain and suffering were due to their choices in life, and in other cases it was due to forces beyond their control. It seems that our generation (the baby boomers) have an unprecedented ability for self determination. I suppose that this freedom has a cost. We experience the angst of wondering.... "Did I make the right choice" and if one didn't, "Can I fix it."

We have the parable of the ant and the grasshopper on the one hand. On the other hand, the people of faith are taught to "consider the sparrows." And of course there's a range in between the two extremes. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.

For me, I think that I'd have a lot of regrets if I spent my life denying the present, denying myself, and denying other people, while preparing for something that may or may not happen, or for events that may not proceed according to plan. I would hate to go without having made my mark in this world, having known and loved people, had some fun, did some good, and have some fond memories. It would be better knowing that I lived life to the fullest and don't have any regrets. If the feared does happen, it wouldn't be hard to take the attitude that we have to die of something and just let go.

Would anyone like to add their thoughts?
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#2 Postby Windsong » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:00 pm

The moment you are in is the only one you've got. Too much of life passes us by when we are busy living in the past or projecting into the future.

Awesome post. Thanks for the food for thought.
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#3 Postby SouthernWx » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:11 pm

I honestly don't worry much about the future....nor do I live in the past (something my 91 yr old grandmother does quite often in recent years).

At age 43, I've already accepted the fact I'm going to die someday...and since I'm overweight, borderline diabetic, have high blood pressure, and the immediate family members I took after/ favor (mom, uncle Neal, mom's dad) all died young...ages 41, 45, and 65 respectively...I don't expect to live to 100, or even 80 yrs of age.

I just try to live every day as if it were my last...and not go to bed angry or upset..or with anyone upset with me...and make sure my loved ones know how much I love and treasure them. I've honestly been this way since the mid-90's, but even more so since September 11, 2001. A lot of folks saw that catastrophe as "just a horrible terrorist attack", but I saw it as bible prophecy coming true....the beginning of the end for America and the world as we know it.

I sat here as the WTC towers burned then collapsed, and what was honestly going through my mind were end-times sermons I'd heard in church as a teenager....bible scriptures I'd read and researched as a young man. I see things in the news every day that are clearly mentioned in bible prophecy...the growing power of the European Union ("revived Roman Empire"); reports that microchips are being implanted into humans...and can be used to track them anywhere on earth; the technology for the "mark of the beast" exists right now....and wars and rumors of wars right smack dab in the area where "Armageddon" is prophecised to take place (Middle East).

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not some "doomsday" wacko who's running around preparing to die (or preparing to survive doomsday in a cave or bunker). I enjoy life...and am very thankful for the creations of God I see...thankful he allowed me to awaken today, allowed me to love my family another day, to experience the love and friendship of others...but I'm also a realist.

I realize that I may not live to see my 9 yr old niece Madison's wedding day...may not be here to see 8 yr old nephew Nick play high school football; realize now more than ever that many of us may not live until this time next year...because the next terrorist attack could concievably be with WMD and end many of our lives.

I don't stress or worry about it....but know every day when I awaken it could easily be my last day on earth. On this date in 1977, my mother went Christmas shopping...she was so excited about the holidays, preparing for a Christmas play at dad's church, and apparently in very good health...except for those severe migrane headaches she had been diagnosed with months earlier. The very next morning I was home sick from school, and was unable to awaken mom when a lady called from church to speak to her.

My mother never regained consciousness....never hugged my little sis and I again, never kissed dad or told him how much she loved him. Mom lay unconscious on life support in ICU for nine days...before leaving this world from a cerebral aneurism and pneumonia on December 11th, 1977....she was only 41 years of age.

We aren't promised tomorrow by God in his holy word...so I choose to live every day as if it were my last....especially since 9/11/01.


Sincerely,
Perry
Last edited by SouthernWx on Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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#4 Postby azskyman » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:13 pm

I used to break out laughing when I heard financial planners saying that I should be putting money aside for retirement and college when my kids were not even in grade school.

Heck, we used to go out to eat one night a week...usually for fast food, and I would give up fries so the others could have some.

Save for college when they were five?

To me balance is important. Living JUST for today would mean I could have quite a day or two! But that will end, and I would need to account for the days beyond.

On the other hand, if I put all the resources and energy to all future possiblities, I overstate my chances of even getting there and deny myself today.

Financially, I'm a budgeter. I only have what comes in to work with. And I know what commitments I can make on what goes out as a result.

I cannot run my deficit beyond the limits I have established...it just won't happen.

The problem with this thinking in my family is that it tends to diminish the fun or opportunity for a little indulgence once in a while. In other words, spontaneity has been replaced all too often with reason and rational thinking.

Still...back to the balance...we have together established priorities on which we primarily agree. And those get first pickings. Beyond that we find ways to have fun, take trips, spend money on family or friends, and otherwise be responsible, but still have some fun.

Don't really know how to be any different at age 58.

My conservative nature shows most when I buy a car or a big ticket item. I go for quality and endurance...price is a factor, but not the major one. But I'll talk myself into something smaller, something less showy, something more "regular", just the same.

I got a note from a former coworker of mine today. She used to sell advertising when I lived back in Illinois.

She now lives in California (Temecula, by the way) and shared a picture of her Christmas present she was giving to her husband.

An airplane.

Not a model. Not a ticket on an airplane.

An airplane. A Mooney to be exact!

"I've done pretty well selling crystal glass on E-bay" she said, "and I just wanted to do something nice for Jim."

An airplane? That's a little bit more than just nice.

Indulgent for me would be my wife giving me $100 toward the first hour of a possible flying lesson.

An airplane for Christmas?

God bless her and her generosity.

I live for today and tomorrow, but I can't say I would ever indulge in an airplane with life as I know it.

"I'm scared to death to fly in small planes," she said. " But he really enjoys it."

I'm hoping to fly with him just once when I'm in California. That's the extent of my treat. That's the extent of my indulgence.
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#5 Postby rainstorm » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:23 pm

ut oh, i knew i was doing something wrong!! i live for YESTERDAY. no wonder i am always a day late and a dollar short.
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#6 Postby Yankeegirl » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:32 pm

My parents always saved, saved, saved... When my mom died, when she was 55, my thoughts were like, they saved all their lives for nothing... She cant enjoy it in her later life... Seems like such a waste... I know its good to save a little, but you might as well do stuff while your here... and dont worry about when your "number" is called...
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#7 Postby TazzyD » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:36 pm

I used to live by the saying "If you're not living life on the edge you're taking up too much space". Now I find myself putting a bit more distance between me and the edge though I try to stay close enough I can still see over, but a bit more safely. As for yesterday there's not a darn thing I can do about it but learn from it. :wink:
Last edited by TazzyD on Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
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#8 Postby coriolis » Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:48 pm

rainstorm wrote:ut oh, i knew i was doing something wrong!! i live for YESTERDAY. no wonder i am always a day late and a dollar short.


I love it!
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#9 Postby michaelwmoss » Thu Dec 02, 2004 4:33 am

God gives you each day of your life to live. Enjoy what he has given you. Know there are consequences if you do things that you know are wrong. Learn and grow from your mistakes
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#10 Postby yoda » Thu Dec 02, 2004 4:38 am

Good post. That helped me out.
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#11 Postby JenBayles » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:29 am

I always liked the old maxim about "all things in moderation". Of course, the "moderation" thought never occurred to me last night after about the 3rd margarita......... Ugh.
:eek:
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#12 Postby Persepone » Fri Dec 03, 2004 10:29 am

Good post Azskyman!

Yes, it's a question of balance. From the perspective of 59, I have to admit that it might be better if I had saved more money, etc.--on the other hand, what I had I did spend as wisely as I could. My daughter had the "needs" and some of the "wants" taken care of. She has a college degree. I have had a generally happy life. While I look forward to more, if that does not happen, that's okay too. No regrets.

Generally, living for today seems best. Perhaps a little saving for tomorrow--but not if it deprives someone today of something important. An aunt of mine once pointed out that waiting for Christmas to buy a child a bicycle was not a good thing in this climate since they could not ride it in the winter--and she urged me to buy it in the spring. She was right. Now I do think about not defering purchases like that.

And living in the past (as opposed to remembering the past) is futile and non-productive. If the past was bad, change today so the future does not repeat more of the same.

There is one tactic that helps. While major saving often seems elusive, there are small economies today that truly can make things better in the near future. Saving even a small amount of money each week (like $10) helps to put cash flow on an even keel. If the small emergency comes up, you can cover it. This $10/week habit, after a year, tends to mean that you have a $500 rainy day fund--and you'd be amazed how many emergencies are within that price range. But every time you don't buy coffee-to-go or brown bag your lunch or practice other small economies and put the money in the rainy day fund, you help yourself get to a position where the credit card or ATM card does not come into play for stupid little stuff--the budget busters.

I think the reason this works is that it is not really depriving you of anything, but it does make you stop and think about the small frittering away of money.

The tactic carries over to "time." You start to evaluate whether you should spend time doing X or doing Y and what the long-term benefits are. An hour playing with your kids or an hour watching a TV show? If you think about this with an eye to the future, playing with the kids may make for more interesting memories as well as a better future. Seize the opportunities for the little stuff as they arise. The big events will take care of themselves.

And yes, in the end it is a question of balance.
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#13 Postby michaelwmoss » Fri Dec 03, 2004 5:05 pm

And/Or Doing Without
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#14 Postby breeze » Fri Dec 03, 2004 6:43 pm

VERY good topic, Ed!

It's possible to "carpe diem" without spending
a lot of money. There are smaller things to be
enjoyed. But, as I get older, I see that I should
have, at least, done a bit more planning for the
financial future - so, now, I have found myself
scrambling with investments and such. But, mind
you, I'm NOT going to obsess over it so much that
I cannot enjoy each and every day! That 401k or
403b plan just doesn't come to mind when I am
enjoying a sunset with good friends or family.

And, JennBayles, I had teaching in the "all things
in moderation" school of thought, as well - and,
those margaritas I had, last night, seemed to
slide through that thought, too! ;)
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