Regrets, I've Had A Few...
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- azsnowman
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Linda, I can't even imagine the pain that you went through and still are....{{{{Hugs}}}}
SF.....once a child molester, ALWAYS a child molester, it's ONLY a matter a time before he strikes again and believe me, I'll be there with my hand on the switch! Sorry to go such off topic here Steve!
Dennis
SF.....once a child molester, ALWAYS a child molester, it's ONLY a matter a time before he strikes again and believe me, I'll be there with my hand on the switch! Sorry to go such off topic here Steve!
Dennis
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- Stormsfury
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- azskyman
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Balm for the Soul...
'Tis balm for the soul to share a troubled heart among friends.
As I have said before, there is risk in sharing such things with others...but there are risks involved in keeping such things to oneself.
Amanzi, your a tribute to young mothers and your dream of career and happiness will someday become a reality.
Regrets about unspoken words and unshared messages are troubling for sure. I lost my mother to a stroke at a time in our lives when she was angry at me...I would have loved just one more day to set that straight...but not knowing her fate, I assumed I would have tomorrow.
Saying I'm sorry or I love you or such messages of the heart to those who are still around...sick or not, understanding or not...is still often the right thing to do. It sets you free of guilt. It sets you free of pain.
And Lindaloo...it is time to let go of the guilt as well. You have learned much in the years since the accident, and those lessons, and love and appreciation of all the life still ahead of you, are a tribute to your friend that would bring a smile.
Such crafted messages take time to come forth..but you have all given the rest of us a gift.
Trust and respect for each other.
Thank you.
As I have said before, there is risk in sharing such things with others...but there are risks involved in keeping such things to oneself.
Amanzi, your a tribute to young mothers and your dream of career and happiness will someday become a reality.
Regrets about unspoken words and unshared messages are troubling for sure. I lost my mother to a stroke at a time in our lives when she was angry at me...I would have loved just one more day to set that straight...but not knowing her fate, I assumed I would have tomorrow.
Saying I'm sorry or I love you or such messages of the heart to those who are still around...sick or not, understanding or not...is still often the right thing to do. It sets you free of guilt. It sets you free of pain.
And Lindaloo...it is time to let go of the guilt as well. You have learned much in the years since the accident, and those lessons, and love and appreciation of all the life still ahead of you, are a tribute to your friend that would bring a smile.
Such crafted messages take time to come forth..but you have all given the rest of us a gift.
Trust and respect for each other.
Thank you.
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- Stephanie
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I finaly found the time to read these stories, although I did vote yesterday - down the middle!
Yessir Steve, you sure do know how to pick the topics!
I've had a good life with some bad mixed in. I think that most of the bad as someone had mentioned is a part of life - growing up. I truly feel for everyone here that has listed their regrets and the heartache that you are feeling. We all have our paths to take for whatever reason God had for us. Each of these paths are made for us to learn something, no matter how terrible the situation was.
One of my regrets is that I didn't have enough confidence in myself when I was younger to stand up for myself when ever I was bullied by some of the local kids. I always felt that I must have done something to deserve their anger or to be picked on. For a good part of my life (and still in some respects now), I've tried to get people to like me and I ignored my feelings and thoughts. I believe that the silver lining in this is that I am a sensitive person and can empathize with what people are feeling and saying.
Another big regret is something that I will never forget, though I have tried to forgive myself. I had a kitten when I was married named T.T. for "tiny terror". She was cute, but destructive. When Dan & I went to work, we would lock her in the bathroom so she wouldn't get into anything (we lived in an apartment at the time). Well, one day I found that she had gone to the bathroom on our bed. I took her and through her outside our front door (we lived on the first floor). I left her outside all night. When I went to look for her the next morning, she was behind the bushes with one of her hind legs ripped to shreds. She must've gotten under someone's car engine. I ran her to the vet next door and we had her leg amputated. Needless to say, within a couple of hours she was dead. We have her buried in my Mother's backyard. I couldn't believe that a person that was supposedly an "animal lover" could actually do something so horrible to an animal.

Yessir Steve, you sure do know how to pick the topics!
I've had a good life with some bad mixed in. I think that most of the bad as someone had mentioned is a part of life - growing up. I truly feel for everyone here that has listed their regrets and the heartache that you are feeling. We all have our paths to take for whatever reason God had for us. Each of these paths are made for us to learn something, no matter how terrible the situation was.
One of my regrets is that I didn't have enough confidence in myself when I was younger to stand up for myself when ever I was bullied by some of the local kids. I always felt that I must have done something to deserve their anger or to be picked on. For a good part of my life (and still in some respects now), I've tried to get people to like me and I ignored my feelings and thoughts. I believe that the silver lining in this is that I am a sensitive person and can empathize with what people are feeling and saying.
Another big regret is something that I will never forget, though I have tried to forgive myself. I had a kitten when I was married named T.T. for "tiny terror". She was cute, but destructive. When Dan & I went to work, we would lock her in the bathroom so she wouldn't get into anything (we lived in an apartment at the time). Well, one day I found that she had gone to the bathroom on our bed. I took her and through her outside our front door (we lived on the first floor). I left her outside all night. When I went to look for her the next morning, she was behind the bushes with one of her hind legs ripped to shreds. She must've gotten under someone's car engine. I ran her to the vet next door and we had her leg amputated. Needless to say, within a couple of hours she was dead. We have her buried in my Mother's backyard. I couldn't believe that a person that was supposedly an "animal lover" could actually do something so horrible to an animal.
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- azskyman
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Animal lover..
Stephanie...I suspect that you have made up for that misfortune with "tt" a million times over with your care and love for animals all your life.
You have a heart of gold for humans and animals alike.
skyman
You have a heart of gold for humans and animals alike.
skyman
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- streetsoldier
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- streetsoldier
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Don't think that for a MINUTE, Ticka1...I speak of people in my past that could have taught the Grand Inquisitor, Juan de Torquemada, a thing or two...if not Heinrich Himmler's bargain-basement thugs.
Count as of this date is 154 abusers/enablers identified, and still searching...I am nothing if not persistent.
Count as of this date is 154 abusers/enablers identified, and still searching...I am nothing if not persistent.
Last edited by streetsoldier on Thu Apr 17, 2003 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- streetsoldier
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My regrets in life...that's a tough question.
I know I'm only a youngin right now and there are times that I would rather not think about what I did...but the inevitable happened and I've lived with the consequences.
Being only 21, life has its twists and turns...
My life isn't exactly angelic. I lived with my mother and step-dad growing up and there were times when my teenage rebellious self did not understand the teachings of my parents (and step-parents for that matter). While growing up, my listening skills were not the greatest, nor were my social skills. Because of my rebellious self, I would often tear my mother's heart apart because I wanted to do things my way and not the traditional way. I was a self-image of my mother (when she was a teen) and it showed in the things that I did. I would constantly run away to my fathers house that way I could let out my anger. Just before I graduated from High School in June of 2000, I moved into my dad's house. Not only did I get the freedoms that I wanted, I also had another set of rules to follow. Most of them were the same set forth by my mother, but in some instances, my dad was a little more lenient with what I could and could not do. During the past year, my dad met a sweet lady, whom I can gladly call my step-mom, but her middle child put my dad and myself through the summer of hell! I learned that the simplest things, whether it be make-up, jewerly, clothing, or money can be stolen from your own family members. No one could be trusted in that house and that talking things out is the best way to avoid any further sircumstances. Not only did I somewhat grow apart from my dad, I also realized that even though things may be greener on the other side of the fence, but life's lessons come from your simplest actions. Yes, will always be a daddy's girl, but I need my space...and whether I'm spending more and more time at my mom's or talking things out with my dad, I'm realizing that I need to learn from my mistakes that way I can be a better person.
While growing up, double standards were the norm. Rules were strictly enforced for me and for my little brother, my mom and step-dad were pretty lenient. He received whatever he wanted...and for me...I had to decipher my needs and wants. Growing up, I regretted that fact that a double standard was happening, but now I realize that it is part of life...some people get what they want and others, well, they work for and decipher their needs and wants.
As for my social skills, I was always the person being picked on throughout my schooling. Because of that, I really didn't know who to trust. Whether it be a guy or gal, times were rough and it was hard to return to school the next day. I tried and tried and tried to make friends and most of the kids that I grew up with were people that would take advantage of me and then turn around and ask for my forgiveness. Some people I do regret calling them friends, but now that we are apart, I feel that we are closer than ever. We talk to each other once in a great while about what curves life is throwing at us. Needless to say, it was never an easy day at school. Thankfully, I was not one that would resolve situations with anger, nor was I a person that wanted to kick and scream, but I did try to talk things out with others. My parents taught me a lesson that talking things out is the best way to resolve any problems...violence is not the option. Now that I am in college...I have my close friends whom I enjoy hanging around with. These will be the people that I'll miss most when they graduate.
I know I'm only a youngin right now and there are times that I would rather not think about what I did...but the inevitable happened and I've lived with the consequences.
Being only 21, life has its twists and turns...
My life isn't exactly angelic. I lived with my mother and step-dad growing up and there were times when my teenage rebellious self did not understand the teachings of my parents (and step-parents for that matter). While growing up, my listening skills were not the greatest, nor were my social skills. Because of my rebellious self, I would often tear my mother's heart apart because I wanted to do things my way and not the traditional way. I was a self-image of my mother (when she was a teen) and it showed in the things that I did. I would constantly run away to my fathers house that way I could let out my anger. Just before I graduated from High School in June of 2000, I moved into my dad's house. Not only did I get the freedoms that I wanted, I also had another set of rules to follow. Most of them were the same set forth by my mother, but in some instances, my dad was a little more lenient with what I could and could not do. During the past year, my dad met a sweet lady, whom I can gladly call my step-mom, but her middle child put my dad and myself through the summer of hell! I learned that the simplest things, whether it be make-up, jewerly, clothing, or money can be stolen from your own family members. No one could be trusted in that house and that talking things out is the best way to avoid any further sircumstances. Not only did I somewhat grow apart from my dad, I also realized that even though things may be greener on the other side of the fence, but life's lessons come from your simplest actions. Yes, will always be a daddy's girl, but I need my space...and whether I'm spending more and more time at my mom's or talking things out with my dad, I'm realizing that I need to learn from my mistakes that way I can be a better person.
While growing up, double standards were the norm. Rules were strictly enforced for me and for my little brother, my mom and step-dad were pretty lenient. He received whatever he wanted...and for me...I had to decipher my needs and wants. Growing up, I regretted that fact that a double standard was happening, but now I realize that it is part of life...some people get what they want and others, well, they work for and decipher their needs and wants.
As for my social skills, I was always the person being picked on throughout my schooling. Because of that, I really didn't know who to trust. Whether it be a guy or gal, times were rough and it was hard to return to school the next day. I tried and tried and tried to make friends and most of the kids that I grew up with were people that would take advantage of me and then turn around and ask for my forgiveness. Some people I do regret calling them friends, but now that we are apart, I feel that we are closer than ever. We talk to each other once in a great while about what curves life is throwing at us. Needless to say, it was never an easy day at school. Thankfully, I was not one that would resolve situations with anger, nor was I a person that wanted to kick and scream, but I did try to talk things out with others. My parents taught me a lesson that talking things out is the best way to resolve any problems...violence is not the option. Now that I am in college...I have my close friends whom I enjoy hanging around with. These will be the people that I'll miss most when they graduate.
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- Stephanie
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Re: Animal lover..
azskyman wrote:Stephanie...I suspect that you have made up for that misfortune with "tt" a million times over with your care and love for animals all your life.
You have a heart of gold for humans and animals alike.
skyman
Thank you Steve! That means alot to me!
Shannon - I know how you felt about not wanting to go to school on some days because you were afraid of being tormented and picked on. I used to pray for rainy days so I wouldn't have to go outside and "find someone to play with" as my Mother would tell my brother and I. what I never understood was why she would tell us that when she knew the problems we were having with some of the neighborhood kids. In the long run, it enables you to grow and learn about yourself and others.
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#1 REGRET....moving out of the house at 19 and after only 1 month on my own, meeting a girl and having her move in with me and my roomate, share my twin size bed, and later become my wife. Big Big mistake.
Now a father of a 17 year-old boy from that marriage, I know exactly what is the most important thing in his life right now....and its not me, and its not his mother.
I regret not having the wisdom of an adult at the age I thought I was an adult
Now a father of a 17 year-old boy from that marriage, I know exactly what is the most important thing in his life right now....and its not me, and its not his mother.
I regret not having the wisdom of an adult at the age I thought I was an adult
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- azskyman
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Families..
j...two neat things mixed in with your message.
One, that you know who is important to you now.
Second, that you, like thousands of others, have learned from your mistakes as you have grown through life.
Pojo...you have chosen a path in life that takes you away from being on the receiving end (the dark side) and into being on the giving end (the light side)...in so many good ways.
Clearly many of us learn from our past mistakes and challenges and they can set the stage for one of two things to happen...
Bitterness and pain to suck the life out of you or renewal and hope through words and deeds full of promise.
Bill...I pray often that your opportunity for peace will open up one wonderful day.
azskyman
One, that you know who is important to you now.
Second, that you, like thousands of others, have learned from your mistakes as you have grown through life.
Pojo...you have chosen a path in life that takes you away from being on the receiving end (the dark side) and into being on the giving end (the light side)...in so many good ways.
Clearly many of us learn from our past mistakes and challenges and they can set the stage for one of two things to happen...
Bitterness and pain to suck the life out of you or renewal and hope through words and deeds full of promise.
Bill...I pray often that your opportunity for peace will open up one wonderful day.
azskyman
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- streetsoldier
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Steve, that "head count" is a vital part of my therapy...filling in the blanks in my memory (much of which was and is still "locked away" in some internal "safe place").
The more I can retrieve those names and faces, the closer I can get to resolution, if not forgiveness (but I do not have to forget).
I have had to use old yearbooks, two or three "alumni" websites, etc...it has not been an easy or surgically precise process (I've been actively into it for three years so far), and I recognize that I have a long way to go...this is just "surface-scratching".
Add that the present home situation is not conducive to more vigorous inquiry, and one can see the difficulties ahead of me.
The more I can retrieve those names and faces, the closer I can get to resolution, if not forgiveness (but I do not have to forget).
I have had to use old yearbooks, two or three "alumni" websites, etc...it has not been an easy or surgically precise process (I've been actively into it for three years so far), and I recognize that I have a long way to go...this is just "surface-scratching".
Add that the present home situation is not conducive to more vigorous inquiry, and one can see the difficulties ahead of me.
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