Alternative Dictionary -- Just for Laughs!

[Dee Bee]

The Washington Post's yearly contest where readers are asked   
to supply alternate meanings for various words -- and the   
winners are...   

 
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.   

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you   
have gained.   

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat   
stomach.   

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.   

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.   

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you   
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.   

7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.   

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.   

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up   
after you are run over by a steamroller.   

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.   

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.   

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed   
by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.   

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation   
with Yiddish expressions.   

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.   

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,   
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.   

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer   
shorts.   

[HurricaneGirl]

Those are funny!