You know you're a Redneck when...

[TexasStooge]

The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're only twenty years old.

You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.

You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug.

The strongest smell in your house is butane.

Your dog passes gas and you claim it.

You think paprika is a Third World country.

None of your shirts cover your stomach.

Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

Your home has more miles on it than your car.

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

You own a homemade fur coat.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You've ever given rat traps as gifts.

You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.

Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.

You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

[stormraiser]

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

It isn't?

Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

It wasn't but it still is one of my favorite songs I have a cd of about 15 different artists playing it

The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.

up here they don't care what color they are, I've seen blue and green as well

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Even better, phone numbers on it

[southerngale]

You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.

Ok, shoot me now.