Rules of thumb at work

[coriolis]

In my 25 years or so in a professional office, I have learned a few rules of thumb that will go a long way towards enhancing your image.

1. When wandering the halls, whether you are going to the bathroom, going out for a cigarette, or just to chat with someone, always carry some papers with you. It will make it look like your walking around on company business. Extra points if you carry the papers in front of you, and look like you're reading them while you're walking. Bonus points if you bump into people while "reading" them. If you go out for a smoke, carry a red pencil with you and act like you're proof reading it while you're out there. Make comments like "It's too noisy in there to concentrate."

2. Always keep your area cleaner than your bosses area. When an important letter or file turns up missing, the suspicion will be on your boss. If your boss is disorganized, or has a messy office, you've got it made. Never sit on things. Return them to your boss, so that you can establish that he usually sits on things. If you find that missing letter in your office, try to sneak it in the middle of the pile in his in-box.

3. Either arrive at work before your boss, or stay after your boss leaves. That way your boss can never accuse you of not giving your 8/40. A little adjustment to your schedule can go a long way towards making you look dedicated.

4. Create subfolders in your email inbox. Set up message rules so that all personal emails go there automatically. There's nothing worse than personal emails (or worse) showing up in your inbox and sitting there while your away from your desk.

5. Use an active screensaver. Never use the blank screen screensaver. If people see the blank screen they will think that you are "out." If you don't use a screen saver, always leave a spreadsheet or a document open when you leave your desk.

6. Disable the sounds when an email arrives. People don't need to know how many emails you get.

7. If you need to make a personal phone call, go to an unused conference room if you can. Bring some "work" with you.

8. Every time your boss calls you in, bring a pad and a pencil. Take down what he or she tells you, even if you'll never read it again.

9. Same goes for meetings. Take notes. Resist the urge to doodle. Doodling is the worst thing to do. It makes you look bored. Once in a while, those notes will save your @$$. "But Boss, on June 17th, you said the opposite of what you're saying now!"

10. As a rule of thumb, do assignments in reverse order. If he gave you something to do last week and gives you another assignment today. Do today's assignment first. It's freshest in his mind. It's better to get 10 assignments done on time and have one be late, than doing everything in the order it was assigned and being late with all of them. If last weeks assignment was crucial, ask if you should put it off for today's assignment.

11. When a boss starts telling personal stories, he wants to have someone pay attention to him. He doesn't want to hear your similair experiences. The only thing that matters is that someone is listening to him.

[Persepone]

These are really good tips! They work. I've used variations on them for the past 30 years...

A couple of other things I've found useful.

Write a macro to use a single keystroke or combination to bring up some spreadsheet or other complicated (real) task you habitually do at work... This can be last month's spreadsheet--what's important is that you can bring it up instantly to cover over what you were really doing when someone approached your office.

While this and some of the earlier tips do help with fairly tame goofing off, personal e-mail, etc. it is wise to remember that NOTHING you do on your office computer is private and it is probably backed up to some server somewhere and saved for 30 years! Do NOT put anything on your computer at work that you would not want to see posted on a billboard on your local interstate with your name on it. Do not DO anything at work or SAY anything at work that would not pass the "billboard test."

Set up a special e-mail account/address for your friends to send jokes to you--and do not access it from work! Use your home computer, a library computer--but not a work computer. It may be funny, but your boss may not think so. And the bottom line is that you probably have friends who do not use their heads when they send you funny stuff via e-mail...

By the way, your phone/voice mail is not private either. Employers can and do "eavesdrop" &/or record conversations and, like e-mails, these records can get archived "forever."

Sit so that people cannot sneak up behind you &/or put a "rear view mirror" (which does not have to be an actual "mirror" but just a good reflective surface) where you have early warning of people approaching from behind...

One other tip: don't do anything "dishonest" even if you boss orders you to, etc. Fashions in honesty/dishonesty, etc. seem to shift periodically in 8-10 year cycles--but you don't want to be remembered as the person who did whatever it is. A few years ago I worked for a "weasel" and did refuse to do stuff. In the short run I suffered for my stance. In the long run, I did not because not only did people remember that he was a "weasel" but they also remembered that I was not. If your conscience tells you it is wrong, don't do it--even if "everyone else does" etc.