Kids, gotta love em!

[bfez1]

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, ! if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Je! ll-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.

First grade...true story:
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to
build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy sh_t! A
talking pig!" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[MScoast]

LOL....I can relate to a few of those. Especially the pb&j sandwich in the VCR. My son did that about 5 years ago. Didn't have spray paint sprayed on the walls...however, he painted his room with fingernail polish...and a lot of it! My oldest son drank his daddy's aftershave when he was 3...I think he got a little drunk All 4 of my boys have flushed some sort of toy in their lives. I could tell so many stories...although most of them aren't as bad as that one

[Lindaloo]

LOL...too funny. When my now 17 year old was 2 he decided to put one of my cassette tapes in the microwave and nuke it. Can we say "Buh-bye microwave?" :o

When he was 5, we were taking a nap (he was SUPPOSED to be) he decides to catch a rolly poly and put it on my head. It then went into my ear. Had to go to the emergency room to get it out. I asked them if they removed shoes!! lol.

[BreinLa]

I have one to add to the list lol Do Not Allow your kids to sit in a Hot Tub with a bottle of bubbles just ask my daughter what happened when she was 5 roflmao

[Lindaloo]

I have one to add to the list lol Do Not Allow your kids to sit in a Hot Tub with a bottle of bubbles just ask my daughter what happened when she was 5 roflmao

[mf_dolphin]

I wonder if I have any brake fluid at the house?

Chad, you and Jenn need to pay special attention to this list

[Guest]

LOL - have to giggle at those with a seven year old in the house - how about when she was 4 years old she gave herself her own haircut - it took over a year to grow out - I tease her to this day - if she wants to cut her hair anymore.

Patricia

[Constructionwx]

ROTFL! I too feel the need to check and see if I have any brake fluid.

My 4 yr old daughter has put mousse in our dog's hair before. It was impossible to get mad at her since the poor dog's hair looked so funny I couldn't keep a straight face !!