My parents had a very unhappy marriage and consequently, a bitter divorce. My mother still talks bad about my dad and dad passed away in 1988. When my first marriage ended, I decided I didn't want to close the door on that phase of my life, in a bitter way. I let go of the bad and kept the good, in my heart. To this day, if he crosses my mind, I just say a hopeful prayer, that's he's happy. It's just not healthy being at odds with former family members! It's not worth all the heartache. I am lucky though, that my ex didn't cause me any trouble and he was pretty decent (in the end that is, not at first, moving in with a girlfriend is not decent but he apologized later for hurting me).
What I'm saying is this - what goes around comes around. You can either hurl insults back or you can take the high road. The high road isn't easy but it's the road I took.
I only wish my mom had taken it.

My dad had a terrible time trying to keep the peace in our house. I don't know how he did it either. But dad - you were a saint!
Mary