WOW... just WOW. Who all watched last night? If you didn't, you missed big time.
It starts out with Lynette getting a flowerpot the three kids reportedly made for Valentine's Day, there's flashbacks of other gifts she has gotten. She puts the pot on the porch for everyone to see and the next day Mrs. MCClusky, the old grouchy lady next door comes over and takes it off her porch and shows Lynette she really got it in Costa Rica on her last cruise.
Opening Credits
Then we see a shot of Wisteria Lane and it's the day before Valentine's Day, we see Carlos signing a romantic card, Rex bringing in roses and candy, Mike planning a date with Susan at a swanky restaurant, and Tom who has forgotten about the day all together. Then we see the ladies at a table talking about the latest Zach news and about killing his baby sister, they figure out that that's what Mary Alice tried to hide.
Next, we're in Paul's house, he's washing dishes, Martha Huber's sister comes in with a bunch of flowers for Mary Alice, delivered to her house by mistake. Paul tells her he forgot to cancel and that his wife passed away a few months ago. They then exchange "I'm so sorry for your loss", although Felicia seems to forget about Martha, going "Oh yes, her". We then see a picture of Mary Alice and Zach on the refrigerator behind Paul, she says "Oh my, that's Angela Forest, we worked together in Utah about 15 years ago". Paul says "I'm sorry, her name is Mary Alice and she's never been to Utah, you must be mistaken".
We then see Gabrielle demanding her agent book her a new job, says she quit because the man was making passes at her. Her and the maid then get into a fight, Gabrielle says "Clean that spot I told you to clean", the maid then says "Say Please", Gabrielle caves, and then says "Your back on the floor where you belong". Maid goes on a rant "Only reason you have anything is because your pretty, once you get old you'll have nothing." Gabrielle then says "Your so fired". The maid says "No kidding".
We then see Mike and Susan on the steps at Mike's house and he's opening a card from Susan, blah, blah, blah, then we hear Lynette telling her boys to "get back over here", Mike finds they are hiding in his bushes, after they say "We're going to get spanked", we then see Mike saying "Go ahead, there's a good chance you'll have the rest of the day to play", so he hauls the kids back to their house. Susan says "Very impressive", and then he says "I love kids, I want to have some one day". Susan falls to the ground.
We then see Lynette's kitchen. The boys are at a table and Lynette is setting our spanking tools from a belt to a hickory stick to a spatula, after they beg, she says "OK, if you promise not to do it again and write an apology to Mrs. McClusky, I'll let it slide". OK, OK, OK, they chant. So, she gets out notepads and is smiling. "Start with Dear Mrs. McClusky", with a smile on her face, one of the kids asking "Why are you smiliing", and she responds "Do you know what psychological warfare means", No the kid says, and she says "Well that's just too bad for you".
That's just the 1st 10 minutes... Later, Felicia finds out that it really was Mary Alice she worked with Utah, Susan freaks to Julie because she says she doesn't want another kid, and then Mike is going around the neighborhood looking for clues into that , one house there seems to be no one home, so he breaks in, is searching around, opens the door to one of the bedroom and there's an old guy in there with a gun, he fires, Mike then gets in his truck and speeds off. Doctors tell him to take it easy. We see Mrs. McClusky runs over the kids bike because it's in the street, this prompts Lynette to throw an egg and at her car and then at her face. Later we see Tom has uncovered a ton of stuff the kids have stolen from Mrs. McClusky, including some clock that Lynette had told her she probably misplaced at her old age. She tells Tom "Pack up, we're moving!" TGabrielle gets fired from the Mattress job for being stubborn. She goes to Victoria's Secret wanting a makeover and finds she can't even afford moisturizer. She then gets a job there and forgets to give a woman a receipt and then guess who walks up... THE MAID! She has to fix her makeup and stuff and the maid is loving it.
We then see the restaurant, Mike and Susan arrive, Susan is wearing a real skimpy dress. A guy is under the table because the thing is wobbling and Susan sees him right below her and causes a big mess, a waiter falls to the ground. Mike keeps a woman from falling, but opens up his stitches in the process. He sits down and Susan starts the "I don't want a child" discussion. The blood keeps getting worse and he's starting to pass out. He then says he has to go and Susan thinks it's because of the kid discussion, he walks not more than a few feet and collapses to the ground to reveal the blood.
We see Lynette and Tom discussing the neighbor's stuff, Tom wants her to go over and apologize and Lynette eventually caves.
We then see Rex getting into bed with Bree, Bree found out earlier that Rex likes to "dominated" and after Rex showed a video Bree said "What the hell did your mother do to you"

. Rex brings out handcuffs and she still seems a little uncomfortable. They have a control word if one gets tired, they will back off immediately. Rex's was Philadelphia, Bree says her aunt lives there and she doesn't want to be thinking about her while she's beating him with a strap. So... Bree comes up with the word Boise and Rex says it's too funny, to come up with something more serious, she says "Palestine" and Rex says "Boise it is". So, Rex brings out handcuffs and he says "Strap me to the bed". She insists on washing them in the dishwasher first.
We then see Susan and Mike in the hospital, he tells the doctors the gunshot was self-inflicted. They are discussing the gunshot, he tells her his automatic went off. He then says "I don't want to lose you, if it means I won't be a father, I want to stay with you".
Lynette's boys go to the neighbor's to apologze, they come in her house and she lets them eat peanut brittle and tea, they see a picture of her son on the fireplace, she tells them he died when he was 12, got sick. She then says no one will ever love you as much as your mother.
Final scenes show Lynette coming over to Susan's with something from Mike's garage that the boys stole, it's Mrs. Huber's watch(that Paul placed in there before she was found). Susan's mood drops immediately thinking he killed Mrs. Huber because there is blood on it.
and then we go through the ending with Carlos hugging Gabrielle as she comes home from her job, Bree taking the handcuffs out of the dishwasher(the next day), Paul getting his mail and Felicia looking suspiciously at him, Mrs. McClusky mourning her son, and Susan looking out at the window as Mary Alice says "Sometimes when we find love, we wish we hadn't", and that's the end
Preview for next week
Announcer: Next Sunday, an All-New Desperate Housewives
Susan: He's a good guy, I know him, Mike wouldn't kill anyone, I'm sure of that(as Mike is being arrested)
Rex: It's Not Mine(Bree finds a condom)
Bree: You promised the cheating had stopped
Rex: I am not the only guy in this house
Tom: I got the job, he gave me the whole west coast
Lynette: No
Tom: So it's going to be a little more travelled
Lynette: Your barely here half the time as it is
Gabrielle: You want to mow my lawn for free?
Justin(John's friend): I could do everything John did for you
Carlos: We got a new gardener today
Announcer: On an All-New Desperate Housewives, Next Sunday 9/8 Central on ABC.